Still cannot eat-update

Tomorrow I have a post-op/pre-op appointment at Truman Maxillofacial Surgery.  When this odyssey began I had initially set up 3 extraction appointments.  When I arrived for the first appointment I told them to do as much as they could and maybe I would not need the additional appointments.  They said they thought they could do it all in one go.  Unfortunately, they were not able to finish removing the tori from my lower left inner jaw.  The bleeding and swelling were too much to allow them to complete the task.  I went back several times to say that a shelf of bone remained and that I anticipated it would cause problems when the dentures were made.  They said that they required a detailed referral from my denture provider including technical specifications.

I expressed my concern to Dr. Goodman.  He thought we might be able to work around the remaining bone.  Not so lucky.  Now whenever I try to chew food, the dentures grind along the shelf of bone and rapidly becomes too painful to even want to leave the dentures in my mouth.  At my last appointment with him he acknowledged that surgery was the only fix and gave me a non-detailed referral back to TMC.

When I called TMC I alerted them to the anticipated issue of the referral letter not containing enough details.  They kindly said to bring in the letter and that they would contact him to get clarification if needed.  I will need to sign releases etcetera.

I am blogging about this phase because I want anyone going through a similar situation to know that being persistent is not rude.  I have heard it said that for every decade a person has been alive it takes a week to get accustomed to prosthetic dental devices.  So the older you are when you begin the process the longer it will take to get used to your dentures.  I am not frustrated or angry that it is taking this long to get it right.  I decided before I began that "persistence pays" needed to be my mantra throughout this process.  You should too.  Am I feeling a bit impatient?  YES!  I wanna eat a sammich, dammit!  Do I blame or hold anger for any of the fine folks helping me get my smile back?  Hellz no!!!  No one has tried to make me feel guilty or bad for needing dentures at such a young age.  They have been very understanding that a confluence of bad genes, bad dentist, poverty and coca-cola consumption has led me to where I am.

Good luck to anyone else who is facing this issue.  Feel free to ask me anything!

An update

Dear friends, fambly and odd strangers passing through,

My denture saga continues after a brief pause.  Tuesday I have an appointment for another adjustment and to determine if I need to have the rest of the lower left tori removed as it is too painful to try to eat.  In addition, the tori on  the roof of my mouth makes the dentures "high center" on the silicone liner!  So I am not yet able to take a bite through something such as a sandwich.  :(  Oh I want a tenderloin sammich!

I am determined to have a positive outcome, as are my patient and kind dental care providers.  I am not yet comfortable smiling spontaneously.  That will come.

I am preparing for the next steps.  I need to secure financing for the house.  I have an inspection for insurance in the next 8 weeks.  Both of these things mean I must clean and organize everything!

I will be enlisting friends to help.  You, my peeps, are a marvelously diverse group of folks with such a variety of skills and knowledge bases.  I will need help sifting through my financing options, searching for and securing every grant that I qualify for, finding a boilermaker that can help me evaluate my existing heating system, sorting and packing stuff in the way of projects, clearing out the basement and the occasional "atta girl"!  

My dear friend Nikki's saga is intersecting with mine and she will be staying here for awhile.  I am confident her presence will aid in my goal to get organized and knock these projects out.

More updates soon.

Smile has arrived

I picked up my teeth yesterday.  I have so much gratitude for all the helping hands that got me to this day!  Today was my first full day adjusting to the prosthetics.  My mouth feels very full.  The bulk has changed the shape of my lips and surrounding area.  It kind of makes me look younger.  Or maybe it is wishful thinking?

My speech sounds a bit funny, lispy, esses and hard consonants are challenging!  I have been reading aloud to the dogs in order to practice.  It's funny because invariably they hear me talking and think I must be speaking to someone who got in the house without them realizing and so they go barking off in search of the intruder to whom I am reading!!!  Perhaps they would think I was reading to them if it were children's books, like when Dick and Jane get their dog Spot!  

I was able to chew noodles and veggies in chicken noodle soup today without gagging.  This is being a painful experience, not bad compared to my sciatica or recurrent meningitis episodes.  Just painful enough to keep me hyper aware.  Thankful I was able to save some pain meds from the extractions.  I am going to call to get an adjustment in the morning.  Persistence pays, practice makes perfect and the squeaky wheel gets the grease; if I combine the three adages I will have a winning smile and a functional mouth in no time.

#OpSmileAtTheWorld has begun!!!  Today because of my smile I got two head nods while mowing and four chatty folks at the store.  Six opportunities for human engagement that might not have happened without my goofy grin.  One of them was a homeless person who told me he could tell I was keeping cool 'cause I wear no socks.  An interesting interaction, socks are dear to homeless men.  You never know when a smile and cheery conversation will turn someone's day around.  I will post more pictures soon.

Dental odyssey the next phase

I went in to Dr. Goodman's office today to try my teeth out, the measurements were off and so adjustments are being made.  The color looked really natural.  I think I am going to be happy with the end result.  Getting excited!  Feeling fortunate.  Getting ready for my sale!  Yay more stuff on down the road!

Next step towards my smile.

I am excited and nervous.  I have my appointment for the first denture impressions tomorrow! I have some unresolved shards still so they may send me away for awhile longer.  Just not sure.  I am feeling fortunate.

Mother's day

Today I am missing my mom more than usual.  No surprise as it is my second Mother's day without her.  One of my treasured mother figures passed away last month.  I am missing Judi Burnside's whimsical posts today as well.  Nothing went according to plans today.  Seems appropriate, heh.  Several friends reached out, invited me to a mom's day lunch, messaged me, called et cetera.  I appreciate the caring gestures very much.

My love and grief for Sandi Rose is common knowledge.  What is less well known is my grief at not being a mother.  I have been pregnant twice.  I miscarried the first pregnancy at 5 months.  I had been so excited to be pregnant even though I knew the father was not a keeper.  I began to miscarry on my way home from introducing my accidental boyfriend and announcing the pregnancy to my grandparents.  The loss was caused by my second acute meningitis episode.  This began my adventures in debilitating health.  I was prescribed a slew of medications.

I was pregnant again in 6 months.  However, the majority of the medications I was on were toxic to foetuses.  By this time I was wracked with constant spine and head pain and needed assistance with hygiene and making it to the toilet.  I had dropped > 40 pounds since the miscarriage and spinal taps were showing I still had meningitis.  I was being seen at Truman while on Medicaid.  This meant that they could not directly discuss termination as an option because of the Anti-Choice tendency of our country.  So they had to talk all around it which was confusing and tortuous.  They said things like, we do not know if you would be able to survive a second miscarriage; there will be no viability; we're not talking defect or impairment, we're talking developing past a mass of tissue.  While at the same time Medicaid would not pay for a termination unless I allowed the pregnancy to end in a miscarriage or the pregnancy brought me to death's door.

This was an awful predicament in which to find myself.  I was fortunate to having the loving support of my mother.  The father of these two would have been children was not effective in his attempts to be supportive of the first loss and I did not discover the second pregnancy until after the relationship ended.  I researched all of the medication I was on, verified that my pregnancy was doomed.  Everything I read predicted >90% failure to develop.  I made the choice to abort.  I did not consult the father.

Because grief had led me to an accidental relationship that ended poorly I committed to abstaining from sex until I encountered a soul worthy of my love.  Because my health failed utterly at that point, it was many years later before I found such a fellow.  By then it was too late and no longer an option to have a child of my own.  The more they discover about my genetic defects the more it seems good that I didn't have kids.  I know many feel I have been a motherly influence in their lives; just not the same as having one I can keep.  Perhaps someday I will become financially solvent and then I could foster or adopt.  Never know what the future holds.

Thank you to all the mother's out there.  "It's the hardest job you'll ever love..."  I saw someone quote the Peace Corps motto in their mother's day greeting on facebook.  Very true.

Dental Odyssey-Update

Hello friends and benefactors!  I am approaching the next phase of my denture adventure!  (groan, denture adventure was accidental, heh)  I wanted to give everyone an update.

First, I would like to pay tribute to the first contributor to my http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/help-kim-kuhn-get-her-smile-back/326681 site.  Judi Burnside suddenly died of an aortic aneurysm on 4/16.

I am bereft. Judi and my mother were birds of a feather.  Both selfless empaths that taught me so much.  Chief among the lessons was how to be friends without tearing each other down.  They were dear to each other and had animated conversations; equally brilliant, well-read, creative, caring and giving.  Judi enriched my life and I will sorely miss her.  She had a beautiful smile!

Secondly, thank you again to everyone who has given, cared and shared my effort.  I would like to send everyone a thank you photograph once I have regained my smile!  In a couple of weeks I will be contacting known donors for your addresses.  For those who are anonymous, I will hunt you down if I can!

Lastly, I hope within the next 10 days I will have set an appointment for the first gum impressions.  I still have multiple bone splinters working their way out, I want to wait until these resolve before getting the dentures made as it is causing some swelling.  I figure no sense being impatient and ending up with ill fitting teefusses.  If anyone has any suggestions please leave me a comment, call, email, text me or whatever!  I am still swishing with salt water, not finding many suggestions online.

I will update again when I go to the first appointment.  Happy day!

Goal achieved!!!!

Wow, just wow!  I have reached my goal swiftly with a healthy buffer just in case.  I struggled for a couple of years with the concept of asking for help with my dental issues.  I now wish I had asked sooner!  Thank you does not begin to express the gratitude I feel.  A dear friend had offered to host a party as a fundraiser if needed and now it will be a smile of gratitude party!  Date yet to be determined, depends when I can use my chompers!  My only regret is that so many people did not use their names and so I cannot invite them as well.

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

My fortune is shifting.

Today was a banner day!

I have crossed the $2,000 mark in my fundraising efforts!!!

KU Immunology called and has moved my appointment forward seven weeks from June when it was originally scheduled.  This is to explore treatment options and ramifications of my IL21-r gene mutation.

While out running errands, a dollar bill blew across my path.

Earlier this week I met again with Dr. Goodman who is going to make the dentures.  He said that I probably will need a second surgery but that it will be far less invasive and should not prolong how long I will be without teeth.

I am feeling buoyed by my friends and their friends, by changing circumstance and the universe.  I am feeling that all of my goals are within reach.  By asking for help and being willing to receive it, I feel I have opened a door and let the sunshine in.  Thank you to each and every soul that has shared my cause, has reached out to reassure me that I am worthy of these gifts, and has generously contributed to my soon to be smile.

Renewed optimism has reached my subconcious

Last night I dreamt of eating sandwiches in public, being freed from resting my chin in my hand to mask my mouth while talking with friends and kissing my favorite fellow with the passion I feel.

Upon waking and reflecting I realized that I have not truly enjoyed a sandwich since my twenties.  When I was 19 I had a bad dental experience that resulted in my holes drilled along my gum lines.  This began my dental phobia, I didn't go to a dentist until 10 years later.  By age 23 my teeth were deteriorating.  A high sugar intake combined with bad genes and bad experiences are how I got here.  And now with a pair of good dental experiences and my family, friends and strangers rallying around me I can get to a much better place.  All my goals and aspirations seem much more attainable.  Thank you my peeps.